April 20, 2008

Righteous Fashion.

Christian TV is one of my most favourite things ever - the passion (for Christ), the horror (of the coming apocalypse) and the sheer showmanship of it all. It's pretty awesome. I've known for some time that while Jesus can apparently save, He cannot save us from bad, bad fashion.

This fact hit home hard this morning when I turned on my FAVOURITE Christian show and was confronted with this:

This is Rexella Van Impe, the co-host of Jack Van Impe presents. Now Rexella has the smallest eyes ever. EVER. I think they're small so that you have to look really hard to find them and then she sucks you in to the bosom of the Lord. But that has yet to be confirmed. Anyway, I was not prepared for sunglasses. But wait! Is this a trend?

Flicking through the channels, I decided that I needed to document the fashion goings-on of our televangelists. They need some help. Shouldn't they be Snazzy for the Love of God?

One thing I've noticed is that there are tons of boring, boring suits. And beckoning eyes.




This is pretty basic church garb (I imagine), but I'm posting it because the name of his show is Mass for Shut-Ins. This fills me with glee.

I feel like my jew-brothers are gonna be mighty hot in the summer time. And maybe, just maybe, God would like to see us in colour.


The ladies here are rocking the floral trend, but I would suggest removing the lace and opting for a smaller sized print.


This guy was bold and went for red, but I cannot forgive him for the mustache. He seems nice though.


More Rexella, because she's so great. Her hair is otherworldly.


And lastly, her lovely husband Jack in action. He is basically perfect.



I'll be keeping an eye on televangical fashion for y'all, so you can get back to your own business.

2 comments:

Maria said...

THANK YOU for posting that picture of Rexella. (I found your blog through google image search.) I too woke up to my favorite show and was taken aback by the ginormous Linda Evans glasses. Did she have work done? A hangover?

Kevin said...

Thanks for this stunning review of Christian fashion. As a fan of Rexella Van Impe and her 'floral' tone of voice, I too have been shaken to the sould with her immense love of blazers. Amazing post. Laughed my ass off. :)